Fear Not

I have learned a very big lesson going through pediatric cancer.  I have learned about my own insignificance.  I don't mean I am unimportant, or that other people are better than I am.  I mean that I know I can do nothing--not on my own.

My greatest desire is for the safety of my children.  I can do many things to help them toward this goal, things like making them wear bicycle helmets and seat belts, or teaching them about strangers, but in the end there is nothing I can do to keep them safe from cancer, car accidents, kidnappers, or just plain old bad things.  Only God can do that. 

It's like my life as a writer.  I can control only certain aspects of my "career".  I can polish my writing skills, edit my words to perfection, study the current book markets, and send my manuscripts out--but I cannot control whether an editor rejects or accepts my work.  I do all I can, but in the end the outcome is not really my decision to make.

What is your greatest desire?  Are you pulling the load on your own?  Is it too heavy for you?  Give it to God; he will carry it for you. 

Psalm 46: 1-3

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and thouh the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea.  Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.  Selah.

Who Do You Trust?

When Emma was 1 year old, one of my husband's cousins (who was 5) passed away.  She had cancer.

Shortly after this I was taking a class for work on germs/illnesses/cleanliness.  A statement was made that statistics showed that children who attended daycare had a much better chance at never getting cancer because they had built up such a strong immune system.

Whew!  I felt this huge relief!  After the pain my husband's family was going through, here was this tiny sliver of assurance that this wouldn't happen to me, because I worked at a daycare, and my daughter had come with me everyday since she was 9 weeks old.

Statistics?  I laugh in the face of statistics!  Ha!  Ha!  Ha!

Okay, as sad as that all is, the experience taught me a vital lesson.  You can't put your hope and trust in anything or anyone other than God.  Psalm 121:1&2 says "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.  My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth."

So what are you putting your hope in?  Do you take peace from reassuring statistics?  Do you hold on tight and hope things go your way? 

I've learned that even in the face of pediatric cancer things can go well.  Do I like cancer?  No.  Would I give it back in a heartbeat?  You betcha!  But I have felt God's hand on us so often, and I have a peace now that I never knew before--a peace that tells me everything will be okay, no matter what happens.

I wish for you all to find that peace (though maybe not in the same way I found mine!).  And in case it isn't clear, I mean a peace in God.