Del Immune's Top 60 Cancer Blogs

Well paint me surprised! I was notified last month that Ramblings of a Cancer Kid Mom has been named in the top 60 cancer blogs on the web. It was a pleasant surprise, and very validating. I'm so pleased and humbled to be able to offer help, hope, or inspiration to others. If you would like to find other cancer blogs (about pediatric cancer, or other types of cancer) you can visit the Del Immune blog post on the subject. I hope you will find an extra snippet of hope within their virtual pages!

More Life Lessons with Teacher Katie

You can't judge a book by its cover--this is something we all know. But do we do it? Probably not, right? I was reminded of this mantra a few days ago. I was at a gas station when a very nice car pulled up. To my surprise, out climbed three women, all wearing pajamas!

I chuckled and shook my head. My first thought was, "Why would anyone go out in public in their pajamas?"

As soon as the thought formed, I remembered something. Nearly three years ago now I made a road trip to Memphis for the very first time, and yes, I was in my pajamas. It wasn't because I wanted to be comfortable for the drive, or that I had just woke up, or that I was lazy or dirty. It was because I was so out of my mind, I remember literally looking around my room wondering what on earth I should put on. I grabbed the first thing I came to, and I climbed in the car to go.

I sure am glad no one judged me based on my decision to wear bed clothes out in public.

Of course, it's probably a good guess that these three ladies weren't involved in a life or death situation. But how could I ever know? It was a good life lesson reminder--you can't judge a book by its cover!

A New You

Lately I've had a thought on my mind that won't go away. I've avoided exploring the idea of it because I wasn't sure I liked the end verdict, but I've finally come to grips with it.

I am a new me. The me I was two and a half years ago is gone, maybe to never return.

I am not as innocent as I used to be. Not as naive. Not as carefree and funloving.

I am more serious. More cautious. Older (literally and figuratively). I carry a heavier load.

I have to admit I don't always like these changes. When all my old friends are off having fun, and I wish I even cared to join them, it makes me sad--but those things don't sound fun to me anymore. My fun comes in other ways, like baking with my girls or getting my house clean. When others are going out on dates with their husbands or boyfriends, and we can barely stand to leave our kids with a babysitter for an hour or two, it makes me sad--but we'd rather us all be together. Period. I hate, hate, hate it when people say, "You're only as old as you feel", because I usually feel like I'm about 100.

The changes aren't all bad. I "get" people more than I used to, because I can generally see past the artificial shell they've put up. I have more compassion and understanding toward people, because I realize what pain truly feels like. I cry more (way more, much to my dismay), but it's because I care more. I'm pretty sure that I'm okay with the person I've become. I don't need to be that person anymore. I'm happy with the place I'm in, even if it can be pretty lonely. The people who "get" me where I am are the people who love me the most anyway.

What about you? Are you a different you than you used to be? Do you think it's good or bad, and what brought the change?

Who Do You Trust?

When Emma was 1 year old, one of my husband's cousins (who was 5) passed away.  She had cancer.

Shortly after this I was taking a class for work on germs/illnesses/cleanliness.  A statement was made that statistics showed that children who attended daycare had a much better chance at never getting cancer because they had built up such a strong immune system.

Whew!  I felt this huge relief!  After the pain my husband's family was going through, here was this tiny sliver of assurance that this wouldn't happen to me, because I worked at a daycare, and my daughter had come with me everyday since she was 9 weeks old.

Statistics?  I laugh in the face of statistics!  Ha!  Ha!  Ha!

Okay, as sad as that all is, the experience taught me a vital lesson.  You can't put your hope and trust in anything or anyone other than God.  Psalm 121:1&2 says "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.  My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth."

So what are you putting your hope in?  Do you take peace from reassuring statistics?  Do you hold on tight and hope things go your way? 

I've learned that even in the face of pediatric cancer things can go well.  Do I like cancer?  No.  Would I give it back in a heartbeat?  You betcha!  But I have felt God's hand on us so often, and I have a peace now that I never knew before--a peace that tells me everything will be okay, no matter what happens.

I wish for you all to find that peace (though maybe not in the same way I found mine!).  And in case it isn't clear, I mean a peace in God.