Grumble Grumble

Do you have a complaint? A grumble? Something that's bugging you?

I've done my fair share of grumbling, especially lately, but then I got to thinking. Sometimes it's best to keep it to myself.

I don't mean we never have the right to whine a bit. We all need to let it out from time to time, but this post is to remind others (and myself) to be mindful of what they say and when. There is a time for everything, and that means sometimes it ISN'T the time.

When Emma was in the hospital in the beginning, I had to stay completely off social media sites. Why? Because I couldn't take one more person's whiney post about the "troubles" in their lives (usually troubles they'd put on themselves) while my daughter was fighting for her very next breath. I didn't want to read about anyones disappointment that their boyfriend had to work overtime, or how someone got a bad haircut. I wanted to shout, "Some people have REAL problems!".

This week there was something called the Fiddler's Convention in our town. We like to go, but this year we couldn't. I almost--almost!--posted on a certain social media network about how I wanted to go and was sad we weren't, but then I remembered how I felt when people posted their menial whines in the past. I decided not to post. Then I got online and relief washed over me that I hadn't posted my grumbles.

One friend had posted an update on her 10-day-old infant who is in NICU and on oxygen, and who is facing open heart surgery. One friend had posted an update on her father's funeral. And yet another friend had posted an update of her visit with the funeral home after she'd made arrangements for her 10-year-old son.

I don't have any real problems, not right now anyway. I encourage us all to cut out our grumbles and just be thankful! What are you thankful for today?

Dear God...

Dear God,

My name is Mother. I have a dear child you’ve given me, and this dear child is ill. She is so very sick, and yet she is so very small. She cannot fight this fight on her own, God. Unfortunately I cannot fight the fight for her.

There are tubes taped to my dear child’s body, God—tubes in her chest, tubes in her hands, tubes down her throat—so many tubes. She seems so very alone.

You are the creator, God. You could take this sickness away. You could take all sickness away. You are the great physician. Still, you choose not to. Why, God?

Please help my child, God. She is too small to fight on her own. She is your child, too, I know, and as her father, you surely love her more than I do. Please ease her suffering, and help her to persevere. You are the only one who can save her. I am putting my trust in you and your goodness. Please don’t let me down.

Sincerely,

Mother

 

Dear Mother,

I am your father, God. Yes, I know of your dear child. You see, I knew her before she was formed in the womb. I knew of the trials she would face. I see what you cannot—your dear child is special! I have assigned her a special task for my plan, one that only she can perform. She can reach hearts that you cannot. She can make an impact on souls that a healthy adult never could.

You say she is alone, but she is not. Surrounding her bed, and all those tubes, are angels. The angels hold back a dark tempest, but there is no need to fear. They are heavenly angels, and they are stronger than any tempest that illness can give. They are fueled by the prayers of your family and friends, prayers that haven’t ceased.

I am with your dear child, and I am not going anywhere. I know that you are afraid, but I can bear your burden. You may not see what tomorrow holds, but that is okay. Whatever my plan holds I will be with you. Never fear to bring your worries, your questions, or your anger before me. My love never fails you, and it never fails your dear child, either.

I hope to hear from you again soon.

Sincerely,

Your Heavenly Father,

God

Give Thanks. Walk.

Every month I post information about a pediatric cancer charity. This month instead of highlighting a new charity I decided to highlight St. Jude's Give Thanks. Walk. It takes place in November, and we have participated in it for the past two years. Our goal this year is to raise $300 for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, and we are almost half way there at $135. Won't you help us reach our goal and save lives? And don't forget, it's Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, so spread the word! If you can't donate, you could always share this post and encourage your friends to donate.

Who We Are: St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

What We Do: The mission of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is to advance cures, and means of prevention, for pediatric catastrophic diseases through research and treatment. Consistent with the vision of our founder Danny Thomas, no child is denied treatment based on race, religion or a family's ability to pay.

How To Donate: You can click here to go to our fundraising page.

How To Participate At An Event Near You: Visit www.givethankswalk.org to find a city near you that is hosting a walk!

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

If you're looking for the GUTGAA post, you can find it here!

September is here, and with it comes Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Many, many people want to pass over pediatric cancer. It's a painful subject, after all, something no one really wants to think about. I know this because I used to be one of these people.

Now? Now I tend to talk about it all the time. I want to spread awareness because awareness helps fund research, and research helps save lives. Did you know that 1 in 330 kid get cancer? That is a lot of kids. Did you know that pediatric cancers are DIFFERENT than adult cancers, requiring different treatments? Furthermore, did you know that pediatric cancer gets the least amount of research funding? Only 3% of the money from the American Cancer Society goes to pediatric research. Three percent.

This month I'll be doing a post each week to highlight this special month, and it's my hope to encourage you all to spread awareness. We made the video below to help spread awareness. I hope you'll not only watch it, but share it as well. Go for the Gold!

http://youtu.be/finHRZ49usQ

 

(sorry I couldn't get the actual video to show up. I've done it before but for some reason it wasn't working this time!)

All About Me (GUTGAA post)

Hi everyone! If you're here looking for one of my regular posts please check back on Tuesday. I will be posting something that I promise will make everyone smile, no matter who you are!

If you're here for GUTGAA (Gearing Up To Get An Agent) you're in the right place! Thanks for stopping by, and here's a bit about me.

-Where do you write? Answer: Usually in my bedroom at night.

-Quick. Go to your writing space, sit down and look to your left. What is the first thing you see? Answer: Ha! Hubby's pillow. Yes, I write sitting in bed.

-Favorite time to write? Answer: Nightime. The girlies are asleep by then and it's quiet.

-Drink of choice while writing? Answer. Water. Always water.

-When writing , do you listen to music or do you need complete silence? Answer: Silence!

-What was your inspiration for your latest manuscript and where did you find it? Answer: Cupcakes, and weirdly enough it came in a dream (yes, I mean that).

-What's your most valuable writing tip? Answer: Always keep learning. You never know when something's going to actually sink in and you'll finally "get" it.

A Little Song

 

 

I've posted this song before, but it's been on my mind a lot as I've been putting together a slide show for Emma's No Mo Chemo party in January. I thought I'd share it again, along with the Yucky Little Monster poem I wrote for Emma three days after she was diagnosed (at like 2 a.m., because I couldn't sleep).

 

 

A YUCKY LITTLE MONSTER
By: Katie Clark, for Emma Clark
In Honor of Dr. Scott Howard

A yucky little monster went floating through the air
I swallowed him by accident, quite unaware.

I didn’t see him in there, he’s a sneaky little guy,
Hiding every time I laughed and every time I cried.

Then that yucky little monster went and did what he does best.
He grew and grew and grew, getting bigger in my chest.

He made me really sick, he took away my fun,
But I will have the last laugh when the day is done!

You see, I met a superhero who knows just what to do.
Fighting little monsters is his favorite thing to do.

So we will fight the monster, and one day we will win.
Good bye little monster. Don’t come back again!

 

 

Cherish The Moment

A couple of years ago, when Emma was in her coma, I was walking through the halls of St. Jude in my usual hurry/daze. I was always hurrying because I wanted to get back to Emma's side, but I was always in a daze because, really, I was out of my mind.

On this particular day I passed a mom and son. The son was pre-teen'ish and had apparently done somethig smart mouth'ish. His mom was letting him have it.

In that moment the desire to do anything so normal as discipline my child was so strong it was palpable. I wanted Emma awake. I wanted to see her blue eyes and hear her voice. I didn't care if she was being bad, horrible, wretched. I wanted her. I wanted things to be normal again.

Today I ate those feelings.

That's right. We went grocery shopping and a few minutes into the trip my girls starting fighting. Like hit-each-other-won't-stop-crying fighting. I was mortified and hurried through the shopping trip with little dignity. I was one of those moms, the ones with the rowdy kids.

I didn't lose my cool (good for me), but the check out lady, who was wonderful about the whole thing, told me my face was as red as Elmo. If you know me in person you know that she was correct, because I do turn VERY red when I'm embarrassed.

As soon as I was in the car I remembered that day in Memphis, and I laughed. Yep. I'm normal again, and I totally cherished the moment.

On that note, here is a picture from recently, of Emma with her first lost tooth (a very regular event). Yay for normal days!