Life Or Something Like It

The hardest times I had living at the Ronald McDonald House were Sunday nights.  If anyone had come to Memphis to visit for the weekend, they typically left Sunday afternoon so they could be home for work the next morning.  Besides this, Sundays at home were always busy days because we went to church on Sunday mornings and Sunday nights, so being there with nothing to do was hard.

Every time Sunday night rolled around I would feel terribly lonely.  Sometimes I thought about going to a local church in Memphis, but Emma's blood counts were too low to go out without wearing a mask (which she hates), and we were there for about a month and a half in the winter months, so it was dark by the evening services, and I didn't feel comfortable driving in a strange city in the dark.

The Window in the Chapel

So Emma and I would walk.  We had an umbrella stroller with us and I'd push her through the halls of the great big Ronald McDonald House of Memphis.  There was a chapel there, with a piano.  I'd always stop in the chapel and play the piano (not well, mind you!).  I'd think about all the people at choir practice at home at that very time.  I'd think about how they might wish they were home, because they had a million things to do.  I'd wish to tell them how lucky they were that they could do something as gloriously normal as go to choir practice on a Sunday evening.

Even typing this post I have tears in my eyes, because those Sunday nights were SO HARD.  Sundays might not have been that hard for everyone--I don't know--but I'm sure there were hard days for everyone there.  Likewise, there are hard days for people everywhere, every day. 

My challenge to you today is to be thankful for the normalacies in life.  You never know when you might not have them!

Spend little...Give lots!

I am super excited to combine two things I love to pay it forward to those in need.  That's right, I'm talking about couponing and the Ronald McDonald House.  We recently made the decision to start buying items to donate to the RMH on our next trip to Memphis.  We wanted to help those families who were struggling, whether new, old, or just there. 

I remember all the months I spent there, and how my head wasn't quite screwed on straight.  I remember my skin getting so dry it peeled.  Looking back I think, why didn't I just go buy some lotion at WalMart?  The answer is because simple things like that didn't enter my mind--it was too full with life and death, medication schedules, and doctor's visits.  Occasionally very kind people would bring in loads of donations.  The donations varied, but usually consisted of things like body wash, deodorant, kid's pajamas, coloring books and crayons, baby diapers and wipes, shampoo, etc.

Along with my couponing sister, I decided to use stores' sales and coupons to stock up on items that will help other families who have the lights on but no one home.  This week I scored six large bottles of men's bodywash for $.46 a piece!  I spent $2.76 and will help up to six families. 

I encourage you all to do the same...spend a little, but give a lot.  You many not live near a RMH, but there are other charities that would gladly take your donations. Think of local children's hospitals, churches, food banks, or homeless shelters.  With that in mind, here are a few tips for couponing!

*Use the internet to look for sales, and then look for coupons on those items (this is how I scored the $.46 body wash).

*Use sites like The Krazy Coupon Lady to do all the hard work for you.  They list the store, what's on sale that week, and what coupons are available for those items.  Another site like this is Coupon Diva.

*Some of the best stores to get great deals (at least where I live) are Publix, CVS, and Walgreens.  They all have their sales ads online.

*Buy a Sunday paper.  They have the BEST coupons.

Happy couponing!

Do You Coupon?

Have you seen that show, Extreme Couponing? This week I made my first attempt at couponing.   In the past 6 months our grocery bill has doubled.  Our children have become human garbage disposals!  Now, I'm not complaining about the garbage disposal thing.  I have a 2 year old who weighs 21 pounds, and a 5 year old on chemo.  Them shoving their faces makes me happy!  However, it does not make my checkbook happy.

Hence the couponing.  I went to the store equipped with my shopping list, sales paper, and coupons...and I failed miserably.  My mistakes?

1. I didn't look closely at my coupons, and many of the items I grabbed weren't what was specifically listed on the coupon.

2. I took my kids with me (BIG MISTAKE IF YOU'RE TRYING TO SAVE MONEY).

3. I didn't look closely at the sale ads in the sale paper.  For instance, I got two 2 liters of Sprite, because they were listed under a heading of "Assorted Coke Products Buy 1 Get 1 Free".  However, the Sprite itself wasn't one of those "assorted" items.


Okay, so I haven't totally given up, and I intend to do better next time.  What about you?  Do you have any tips to save money at the grocery store?  Share them, please!


And on an aside, here is a lovely little commercial that played during the Super Bowl.  It made me both happy and sad, and yes I cried.

I'm So Mad!

Have you ever said those words? 

About three weeks after Emma was diagnosed, we were pent up in the hospital and I was going a little crazy, I admit.  Emma had lost all ability to walk/sit/stand.  She was like a very large infant.  She couldn't use the bathroom herself, and this was a HUGE source of frustration for her.  Because of this, it was a huge source of frustration for us as her parents.

We were in a bit of a unique situation, and because of that no one was telling us what was going on.  Typically when a new family arrives at St. Jude, they are given a run-down of how things go.  They are shown to their clinics, told how to "check in" at each appointment location, and educated (to some extent) on what to expect in the coming weeks.  With us, though, we were brought in under dire circumstances and put in the ICU.  Everyone's biggest concern was keeping her alive, and we were always given wonderful information regarding this aspect.  However, when she was  moved from the ICU to the regular inpatient floor, the focus changed.  Now the main focus was not keeping Emma alive, but getting her cancer into remission (which is the typical goal of everyone at St. Jude).  But we weren't new patients anymore, we had been there for nearly 3 weeks.  Everyone on the regular inpatient floor assumed we had already had the run-down--except we hadn't.  I had no answers, and I was mad about it. 

People would call, or text, and I would put on a happy face.  Inside I was boiling.  I was angry at the doctors for not letting us get out of the hospital.  I was angry at God for putting us in this situation in the first place.  And truthfully, I was angry at everyone I knew because they were going on with their lives.

Micheal was not angry.  I would ask him why, and he would shrug and tell me (in his beautifully patient way) "I've been through hard things before."  He was my rock, truly.

Five weeks into the diagnosis, Emma was finally released from the hospital and we went to "live" at the Ronald McDonald House.  My agner continued for several weeks (maybe months?).

So what's the point of this long-winded story?  How did I overcome it?  I WANTED to get over it.  Even at my own expense.  That didn't mean my problems got "fixed".  Emma still had cancer.  My life was still in upheaval.  But I didn't want to be angry, so I worked on it.  I forced myself to think about good things.  Emma's smile.  Micheal's support.  Ashlyn's sweet baby gurggles.  A hospital that was saving my daughter's life, and providing for us in the mean-time.  A support group.

If you are not (or have never faced being) angry, I want you to know that someday that will come.  We all have battles to fight.  Your "good" things will be different than mine, but trust me, they're there somewhere.  Look for them, and focus on them.  Don't have any good things?  You do, you're just not looking close enough.

It will be hard, and it will not make your problems go away--but at least you will be in a better state of mind to deal with the problems.  I wish you all well, and I hope that at least some of you will be less "angry" because of this.

Ronald McDonald House Charities

This month's charity highlight goes to...The Ronald McDonald House Charities!  This is one of Emma's favorite places ever.  Whenever we go to Memphis, she hope hope hopes that they will tell us that we have to stay there.  And let me just say, they are a wonderful group of people.  We are given a comfortable, spacious room.  We have a huge pantry of food at our disposal.  There are playrooms, craft rooms, game rooms, movie closests, playgrounds, bikes, scooters, fitness rooms, a chapel and more.  When you donate to this charity, you are HELPING THE FAMILIES who stay there.  Families who are going through hell, much of the time.  So here they are!

WHO: Ronald McDonald House



MISSION:  The mission of Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMHC) is to create, find and support programs that directly improve the health and well being of children. Guiding us in our mission are our core values:

• Focusing on the critical needs of children.

• Celebrating the diversity of the programs we offer and the staff, volunteers and donors who make them possible.

• Staying true to our heritage of more than 36 years of responsible stewardship.

• Operating with accountability and transparency.

THEIR STORY:   The first Ronald McDonald House opened in Philadelphia thanks to Dr. Audrey Evans, Philadelphia Eagles’ player Fred Hill (whose daughter, Kim, had leukemia), Leonard Tose, owner of the Eagles, Jim Murray, the Eagles’ general manager and Ed Rensi, the McDonald’s regional manager.
     The McDonald’s owner/operators in Philadelphia made the House possible, donating proceeds from the sale of Shamrock Shakes.


HOW TO DONATE:  You can always drop a few bucks (or coins, it all helps) into the little boxes at McDonalds.  You can also donate by visiting here.  But it gets better than that!  Each individual House has their own website, so if you want to donate to a specific location you can do that, too!  Our favorite is, of course, the RMH of Memphis, but you can search the home website for your local chapter.  There are other ways to help as well.  You can collect pop can tabs, which they will recycle and the proceeds go to RMHC.  You can also volunteer at one of the houses, or donate supplies (each house has a "wish list").